THERAPIST B IS
CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE SO THIS RESPONSE IS FROM A
PERSON-CENTRED COUNSELLOR WITH
EXPERIENCE OF WORKING WITH CHILDREN AND FAMILIES
You must be finding it very
hard to carry on when all of this has been happening and
I applaud you for tackling it head-on now and trying to
get help. One of the issues I would bring up with you is
what your parents' role is in all this? Presumably it
was they who alerted the authorities with their concerns
rather than talking to you which doesn't sound as if
they were being very supportive and helpful to you when
you needed help most. Finding yourself in this situation
is frightening enough when you are in your own country
but here it must be completely terrifying to have the
authorities taking control without it being
explained to you properly.
On this
website, there is a list of lawyers
HERE or you
could ask in the local Notaire's office if they know of
a solicitor who speaks English and deals with family
matters. Can I suggest you go to see one as soon as you
can to find out your legal position? Regarding the
children and what the judge has said about the
children's home circumstances, you need to be honest
with yourself. Is he right? Are you finding it difficult
to show love to your children and do you need to improve
the cleanliness of your house?
Everyone dreads the authorities "getting their claws"
into them and taking over, but sometimes it can be a
positive thing which doesn't always mean removal of the
children, but can provide support for you to get it
right for them. Try not to panic as that will not be
helpful for you or your children.
If you
know deep down that there is some truth in what the
judge says about your behaviour with the children, it's
not the end of the world. Many years ago, in the UK, I
worked with mothers and fathers who has been labelled by
a court as "unfit" parents and whose children were under
threat of a care order. Those parents came to the
assessment unit every day for a set period and learned
how to be loving and capable parents alongside their
children - they hadn't received the parenting skills
when they were growing up and had to learn them like any
other skill. No-one in the unit judged them and we were
just there as teachers of parental skills who were
working to make sure these parents kept their children -
most authorities don't want to remove children unless
they are in emotional or physical danger.
You
have taken the biggest step already - well done and I
hope you can now go on to get the help you need to
ensure your peace of mind and your family's security.
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